Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Six Steps to Happily Ever After

While cruising the internet the other day, I came across something I thought would be of interest to our couples who follow the blog.  Redbook did an article on "The Six Steps to Happily Ever After" and I thought I would just include the basics here on the blog.  Since the majority of our business comes from our bridal clients I hope they find this as interesting as I did.  First let me give credit where credit is due.  Majorie Ingall wrote the article for Redbook.

  1. Find a shared dream for your life together. Dream-sharing starts early in the relationship. Couples love to tell the story of how they met but they should continue to write and rewrite their love story as their relationship goes through their married life together. Remember that you are a team with shared values and goals.
  2. Choose each other as your family. For years, each of you have been a part of another family-now you are establishing yourself as a "new" family. Learn to outline new boundaries together between you and all the families connected to you. 
  3. Learn to "fight" right. Every relationship will have difficulties and you will fight. What has to be remembered means staying focused on the issue at hand and respecting each other's perspective. "...couples that fight right also find ways to defuse the tension, often with humor." says Daniel B. Wile, Ph.D. 
  4. Find a balance between time for two and time for you. This one really hit home for me.  Since 1986, my husband has worked for the airlines and had a really crazy schedule. At times, he would be home for a week in a row and I would be working full time. When the weekend came, he was on the road and I was taking care of the kids, etc. Now, I work out of the home and he still has the crazy schedule.  We've learned that we don't have to do every errand together or even spend every waking moment with each other.  There are days where we will run separate errands and then met for lunch.  It keeps us fresh and we don't tend to get on each other's nerves so much.
  5. Build a best friendship. Think about the things that make your closest friendships irreplaceable; the trust that comes with true intimacy, the willingness to be vulnerable, the confidence that the friendship can withstand some conflict. Who better to make as your best friend then your mate.  "Happy couples are each other's haven." says Julie Holland, MD, NY psychiatrist.
  6. Face down a major challenge together. You're sailing through life, and suddenly you hit a huge bump. A serious illness. Unemployment. The loss of a home. A death in the family. How do you cope?  The truth is, you never know how strong a relationship is until it's tested. All too often, the stress of a crisis can pull a couple apart. But the good news is, when you do make it through in one piece, you might just find yourselves tighter than ever.
So enjoy just a bit a wisdom and we look forward to working with all our clients in the 2009 year.

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